Calm and Collected
by Emma Raye
Summary: Neji is trying to fix things with Sakura. It goes about as well as expected. An excerpt from Broken Glass Chapter 21/22 from Neji's POV.


A/N: If you are planning to read Broken Glass, I suggest reading past chapter 22 before reading this because it's an excerpt from end of Chapter 21/beginning of 22 and contains a pretty big spoiler regarding earlier events. It was a challenge I took to write a scene from another characters POV. And I really like how it turned out. So, enjoy!

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This was a bad idea. But if he had learned anything from his battle with Naruto all those years ago, Neji had learned to place blame where blame was due. And to make sure you had the whole story.

That didn't make it any easier. It wasn't Sakura's fault Lee had died, well in a way it was, but who was to say he wouldn't have died anyway? But there was also the second factor, the moment he had decided to move fast it her dumbass went a got herself almost killed – again. He couldn't handle losing a second comrade in a row.

So, he held that against her too because it's who he was. But, this was his best friend. Best friend was a term he didn't think he'd ever use, but here he was desperately needing her to be there but violently hating her at the same time. It was…unnerving at best.

He'd gotten her favorite food, she deserved as much after his anger, and he was going to talk it out. Because that's what friends did.

Neji finally let his knuckles hit the door. It seemed like years passed as listened to the shuffling, and when it finally opened his chest tightened. Her eyes were wide for the briefest of moments before all emotion flew from her face.

"Hey."

"May I come in?" The words slipped out as if he didn't even will them to do it.

He saw her eyes travel to the basket and back up to him, a soft expression finally befalling her face.

"Sure."

He slipped past her and placed the apples on her table. He'd be an idiot to not feel the tension in the air as he sat on her couch.

Neji had planned this far ahead, but he didn't think he'd have to execute this far. Knowing her temper, he figured he'd make it to the door. Now he was supposed to calmly and clearly explain what had been going on that had caused the tear in their friendship. That would be the most effective. He took a small breath in, calm and clear –

"You're so frustrating, you know that?"

Well that wasn't what he was supposed to say. She looked at him with a weird look of…joy? She certainly didn't seem angry. She furrowed her brow and tilted her head.

"What do you mean?"

"Your goddamn logic makes no sense."

His own eye twitched at the swearing and his tone. So much for calm and collected, apparently, he was taking a page from the impulsive idiot book today.

Sakura was silent for a moment, curled and resting her head on her knees.

"I don't get what you're getting at – "

"You almost died!"

How was she this daft? She was smarter than this. She was the one who helped him move through his emotions not the other way around. His chest was aching because how didn't she know what she was doing? Why didn't she realize how selfish she was being? His eyes were burning, but he wasn't going to do that.

His fist slammed into the arm chair and that was it. He gripped his pants and shameful tears dropped from his eyes. The frustration and anger and every ounce of hurt flowing free. And then the ones of humiliation because he was sobbing in Sakura's living room.

He heard stuttered apologies from her as she rubbed his knee. Imagines of Lee and their training flashed through his head and the tears only flowed faster. He took a few breaths.

"Lee died. Lee wasn't supposed to die. Not yet."

He had been so ready to take on the world. It should have been him, he was right there when it happened. He saw him go to open up the gates. He should've stopped him. They were teammates, but he hadn't and now… now he was dead.

Sakura had wrapped herself around him now and the weight helped his breathing more. She mumbled understanding words he only half heard until…

"I wish there was another way, Neji. But, Naruto – "

His blood boiled and she shoved himself away from her, staring her down. The moment she ran in there was burned into his mind. Lee had started opening the gates and she ran straight into a demon .

"And then you ran in there and were unconscious for a month."

He had been alone for the month. His best friend in a hospital bed and his comrades either dead or too devastated to leave their homes. He'd grieved alone in training fields, lying on the ground hoping chakra exhaustion would kill him.

"I.. I had to. I'm his captain. There was no other – "

"I had lost Lee and didn't know if you were coming back. I had no one."

"There was Tenten."

Neji's head shot up. The nerve. The nerve of her to suggest Tenten would even be okay enough to leave her own house, let alone comfort him through his grief. How dare she?

"She's not the same, Sakura. She can't even look at Gai. And you didn't even reach out to her –"

"You two were furious with me! That day I saw you in the cemetery – "

"You almost died! Of course, I was furious because you're always almost dying. And we had just lost Lee."

He was sick for waiting at her bedside after she sent herself on goddamn suicide missions. Why was he supposed to suffer because she had a death wish? And she had the nerve to huff onto the couch.

"Fuck you."

If his blood wasn't boiling before it certainly was now. How dare she –

"Fuck me? Fuck you and your suicide mission stupid shit. Why are you always trying to die?"

"I'm not trying to die! I saved over ten people instead of one. Sorry if saving people is so awful for you."

Neji took a small breath. He didn't want to say something he'd regret. He'd already toed that line often enough just before.

"It wasn't the mission." He stared ahead on him, not daring to meet her eyes.

"Oh! Screw the fucking mission, Neji." Sakura was wildly waving her hands and Neji bit the inside of his cheek closing his eyes.

"Duty, honor, fate, mission. Shut up. I thought we got over that. It's your duty and your mission to serve the main house? How is that going? Great, I'm sure."

"How dare you – "

She knew that was a sore spot. She knew and she was using it.

"No! How dare you! How dare you be mad I saved people!"

If she was going to fight dirty, he could too. Fuck it.

"Then why didn't you save Lee? Why Naruto!"

Sakura stood up and Neji saw her muscles tense. He knew he fucked up. That might have been a little too far, but she had the nerve to go after him and the houses. She knew just how deep that ran. That was private.

"Get out of my house."

He met her gaze and had never seen such coldness in it. For a moment, he felt regret. But, no. She brought this upon herself – just like everything else. He stood up and matched her glare with his own. He'd win at this any day.

"Gladly."

He made damn sure to slam the door behind him, but it didn't make him feel any better. Neither did the seven singles he kicked as he bounded along the roof tops. And the way he shattered a training pole on the compound grounds really didn't help.

He was supposed to have been calmed and collected. He was smarter than this – really.


End file.
